Bible Study Magazine and Mars Hill are giving away 20 copies of Mark Driscoll’s new book, Vintage Church. Not only that, but they are also giving away five subscriptions to Bible Study Magazine and a copy of their Bible Study Library software! Enter to win on the Bible Study Magazine Mark Driscoll page, then take a look at all the cool tools they have to take your Bible study to the next level!

There are so many Christians who make bad dating decisions. Both Christian men and women alike decide to pursue relationships with non-believers. I’ve heard the excuses as to why people do this, but at the very core, a dating relationship with a non-believer is antithetical to the whole reason for getting into a dating relationship in the first place.

Marriage

A Christian dating relationship should begin with the intention of finding a spouse who will walk with you in your life with Jesus. Any other reason for entering a dating relationship begins with selfishness or idolatry, and erroneously, not Jesus. Even those with the most noble (or so they think) of intentions is seeking to satisfy someone other than Jesus. If you think, “I’ll be a good example and convert them,” or “they make me feel good,” or “I am able to serve them,” you are still serving either yourself or serving the other person, leaving Jesus and his ideas for your future marriage in the dust. In the rare instance where “dating evangelism” has worked, it is because God chose to redeem a dumb couple and a bad idea – not because he is blessing the choice of the “evangelist.” Thinking dating evangelism is a good idea is akin to thinking murder is a good idea because sometimes a murderer will go to prison and convert to Christianity in jail.

Ezra 9:13-15:

And after all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and for our great guilt, seeing that you, our God, have punished us less than our iniquities deserved and have given us such a remnant as this, shall we break your commandments again and intermarry with the peoples who practice these abominations? Would you not be angry with us until you consumed us, so that there should be no remnant, nor any to escape? Oh LORD, the God of Israel, you are just, for we are left a remnant that has escaped, as it is today. Behold, we are before you in our guilt, for none can stand before you because of this.”

God’s idea for Marriage

Let’s go to Genesis to see how God decided the first relationship should look like. In Genesis 2:7, God had just created the first man, Adam. God decides that it is not right for the man to be alone, so he creates a helper suitable, Eve.

Genesis 2:18-22:

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

God creates Eve to be a partner for Adam. To walk along side him – to help him. Eve is neither below or above Adam – and they are to walk together in their relationship with God. Notice how God was involved – both Adam and Eve knew God. God didn’t expect Adam to “convert” Eve, or Eve to “convert” Adam. They started with knowing God, and God introduced them to each other. Though they are both equal, Adam and Eve are created to be different and God has different expectations for them in their relationship.

Let’s fast forward a few verses to Genesis 3 where we find out about God’s expectation for Adam to lead his family. In verses 1-8 we see that Satan has come to tempt Adam and Eve into eating from the only tree God told them not to eat of. Satan convinces Eve to eat the fruit, right in the presence of Adam, and Adam (like so many cowardly men today) doesn’t do anything to stop Eve or refute Satan’s lie. Right after they realize what they’ve done, “the LORD God called to the man and said to him, ‘Where are you?’” God calls out to Adam because he is to be the spiritual head of the family. He is supposed to protect Eve and make sure that she is not deceived. It was Adam who God expected to step up and realize what Satan was tempting him with was wrong.

God clearly calls men to be the spiritual head of the family, and that’s how He created it to be in the beginning.

Love your wife as Christ loves the Church

Ephesians 5:22-33

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Husbands are called to love their wives in light of what Christ has done for them. In addition, wives are to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ. If either the husband or wife is not filled with the Holy Spirit and therefore cannot understand the biblical concept, the marriage cannot fully operate under God’s plan. How can a woman properly submit to her husband if he is not Spirit filled, becoming more like Christ? He cannot be the true spiritual leader, because apart from Christ, the only spiritual leadership he can do for his family is lead them to hell. Likewise is the fact that a husband with a non-believing wife is likely to be quarrelsome as there is no higher authority (Scripture) for her to go to that they will both agree upon when problems arise. Proverbs makes no qualms about saying how crappy it is to have an annoying wife.

Unequally Yoked

One of the most quoted verses when trying to convince Christians not to marry (or subsequenty date) an unbeliever is 2 Corinthians 6. I’ll quote it here and you’ll see why.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18:

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

A marriage relationship needs to begin with Jesus at the centre.  How can one living in the light (Christian) be joined as one flesh with a marriage partner who is living in darkness (non-Christian)? There can not be Jesus at the centre if only one spouse actually loves Jesus! We are told in the Bible to not be yoked (joined) with unbelievers, so by disobeying this command (not suggestion), we are effectively saying that we think that person is more important than loving Jesus. For if we love Jesus, we will obey his commands. So even if we do attempt to love Jesus and try to “convert” this potential spouse, we are living in a way that tells this person that it is not important to follow Jesus’ commands or wholy put your trust in Him. This diminishes the Gospel and does not at all display how a life with God sets you apart and regenerates you to want to love and follow Jesus.

Knock it off!

If you are a Christian and in a relationship with a non-Christian you need to put an end to it. Even if they are spiritually seeking a higher power and coming close to potentially becoming a Christian, it is still not a good witness to continue the relationship as it is defined. It is by far a better witness to tell them, “Look, I really love you, but I love Jesus more. I need someone to walk with me in my life who loves Jesus as much as I do. I need someone who compliments my faith and who will bring me closer to Jesus. If the Holy Spirit convicts you of your sin and gives you a regenerate heart to love Jesus, then, and only then, could you perhaps be the person who I will share the rest of my life with. Until then, I will continue to pray for you and direct you to good godly council to help answer your questions and build your understanding of who Jesus is, but we cannot continue this relationship.” If they do repent of their sin and put their trust in Jesus, then there may be a potential spouse in the making available for you to pursue. However, if they don’t make that choice, waiting forever to see if they “might” become a Christian may be blocking you from the spouse God is actually trying to send to you – a partner suitable for you.

This is a documentary featuring the awesome move of God in China – even in the midst of extreme persecution. People are meeting Jesus! This is awesome!

Go to the original GodTube video here.

Mars Hill church in Seattle is doing some awesome things in their ministry. Their senior pastor, Mark Driscoll, is a breath of fresh air. He preaches practical sermons that just hit me right where I need it. They’re edgy and challenging. I would challenge any man to take an hour and a half out of their day and listen to this excellent sermon.

I might post a few more yet that I think are worth listening to.

To listen to more from Mars Hill in Seattle (not to be confused with Rob Bell’s Mars Hill Bible Church in Michigan), go to http://www.marshillchurch.org.

The sexual union is such an intimate aspect of our lives that it has to be protected if we are to be protected. It must have a tall covenantal fence all the way around it. But because the one-flesh union occurs any time there is a sexual union, whether moral or immoral, we must sanctify and seal the sexual union with the lawful covenantal oath of marriage. Read the rest of this entry »